Junk Yard Adventurer T-Shirts

Al's Computer Salvage.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

Junk Science. (Scientist sits in lawn chair just outside of junk yard.)

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

Salvage Hunters

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

A frightened woman running from a cow.

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

Food-Snob Fear Factor

"I'm glas my dad made me mow the lawn. I found 2 phones, 6 phone chargers and a headset in the grass."

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

'If you get lost in there , send up one of your distress flares'.

Magnetic North

Manifold Destiny

"Someday, Son, this unnecessary and outdated stuff will all be yours."

"It's found crap."

Throwing away your brain

Al's Junkfood Restaurant next to Al's Junkyard.

"I lost control of the mower and composted most of your garden."

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

Flamin-goes & Flaming-stays

Yard Sale: Cookie Jar - $10,000

'My car! My car!'

Garage Sales

'I have a metal plate in my head, a tin ear and brass balls...direct me to a junk yard.'

"There is nothing of value here."

Middle-aged zombie. Wait - why did I come up here?

"It's Joe's junk yard. He wants to buy some air time on the trashiest show we've got."

'Got any heavy metal, squire?'