Junkyard Explorer T-Shirts

'My car! My car!'

'I have a metal plate in my head, a tin ear and brass balls...direct me to a junk yard.'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

'What are you after, Perch, Tench?'

Manifold Destiny

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

Ventriloquist Grave

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

Pranking Zombies

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

Owner tells dog to put back all the bones he's dug up

Michael Hall 1930-2002: wonderful father, devoted husband, benevolent employer, generous citizen, BUT...

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

"Back in 15 min."

"Well, ya gotta go when ya gotta go."

"R.I.P. Angus MacGee 1827 - 1869 Was great in bed"

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

For the community garage sale...

"No skulls, just whatever you can carry home..."

"That's not the way making money works."

RIP Salvador Dali 1904-1989

'I bet there is an interesting story behind that one.'

First words: 'Da-da...'. Last words: 'Ah-argh!'