Junkyard Explorer T-Shirts

'My car! My car!'

Junk Science. (Scientist sits in lawn chair just outside of junk yard.)

'I have a metal plate in my head, a tin ear and brass balls...direct me to a junk yard.'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

'What are you after, Perch, Tench?'

Manifold Destiny

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

Ventriloquist Grave

God in the bunker.

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Pranking Zombies

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

Salvage Hunters

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

Owner tells dog to put back all the bones he's dug up

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the Antiques Roadshow

"Back in 15 min."

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

Michael Hall 1930-2002: wonderful father, devoted husband, benevolent employer, generous citizen, BUT...

RIP Salvador Dali 1904-1989

"R.I.P. Angus MacGee 1827 - 1869 Was great in bed"

First words: 'Da-da...'. Last words: 'Ah-argh!'

"No skulls, just whatever you can carry home..."

Just unburied.