Junkyard Genius T-Shirts

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

CLEAR!

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

Junk Science. (Scientist sits in lawn chair just outside of junk yard.)

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the Antiques Roadshow

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

Magnetic North

Manifold Destiny

Let's Get the Band Back Together

"It's found crap."

"Someday, Son, this unnecessary and outdated stuff will all be yours."

Throwing away your brain

Hoarder Collie

Al's Junkfood Restaurant next to Al's Junkyard.

'Can you prove that was under your granny's sideboard?'

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

'My car! My car!'

Garage Sales

'I couldn't fix the brakes, so I made your horn louder.'

Al's Computer Salvage.

Man has a trash dilemma.

'I'm working here only long enough to add 'Junk Yard Dog to my resume.'

"It's Joe's junk yard. He wants to buy some air time on the trashiest show we've got."

'Got any heavy metal, squire?'

'I have a metal plate in my head, a tin ear and brass balls...direct me to a junk yard.'

Tat Nav - Rag and Bone Man.

"Push it a little more to the right. A little more. Right there. Perfect."