Junkyard Fan T-Shirts

'I'm working here only long enough to add 'Junk Yard Dog to my resume.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

Junk Food

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

Junk Science. (Scientist sits in lawn chair just outside of junk yard.)

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

'I usually discourage high-fat foods, Mr. Hall, but in your case, a Good Humor bar is in order.'

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the Antiques Roadshow

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

"You may have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but that's not why you're 10 pounds heavier."

'You order the Party-Sized Plain Doughnut and the Medium Pail-O-Coffee?'

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Is clutter necessary?

'No, with a 'B.' I called for 'Batman'.'

"Someday, Son, this unnecessary and outdated stuff will all be yours."

Manifold Destiny

Magnetic North

"It's found crap."

Welcome to the Museum of One's Kitchen

Throwing away your brain

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

'Can you prove that was under your granny's sideboard?'

Al's Junkfood Restaurant next to Al's Junkyard.

Hoarder Collie

Hey, your break is over Blubber Butt!

'My car! My car!'

Garage Sales