Junkyard Jester T-Shirts

'Your junkyard is well organized. How do you do it?"

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Sick Rancher Humor

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Cockerel sings the blues...

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Show Jumping Tantrums

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

Junk Science. (Scientist sits in lawn chair just outside of junk yard.)

'Purpose of visit?'

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the Antiques Roadshow

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

No Junk Mail

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

Late entry in the Hop, Skip and Jump event!

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

Suicide by overeating.

Magnetic North

Manifold Destiny

"Load the holiday catalogues."

Man cutting grass.

'Are you decent'

"I hate it hen the red oil light comes on!"

"Over, damn you, over!"