Junkyard Jester T-Shirts

'Your junkyard is well organized. How do you do it?"

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Sick Rancher Humor

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Show Jumping Tantrums

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

'Purpose of visit?'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

Late entry in the Hop, Skip and Jump event!

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

Suicide by overeating.

Man cutting grass.

Magnetic North

"I hate it hen the red oil light comes on!"

"Load the holiday catalogues."

Manifold Destiny

'Are you decent'

"Over, damn you, over!"

'Have a McWater. It's all we can serve without being sued.'