Junk Bond Jester T-Shirts

"We want to redeem our junk bonds. I'm not concerned but my advisor here worries."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Women in a cross country race

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Yawning barristers in court

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Crow and fox

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Clown Wedding with Rake

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

Sick Rancher Humor

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'He started it!'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'