Junker Pillows

Garage Sale

'I don't remember packing a whole bag of twinkies for our lunch.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Toilet humour

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'A room with double beds, please.'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

A clown & his clone.

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

'Your diet is so bad that your arteries are all blocked, but the angioplasty should open things up and get the maple syrup flowing again.'