Junker Gifts

Garage Sale

'I don't remember packing a whole bag of twinkies for our lunch.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'It's your four basic food groups.'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Toilet humour

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

A clown & his clone.

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

'A room with double beds, please.'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"5 second rule!"