Junker Aficionado Pillows

'Herbert, don't you think it's time to buy a new car?'

"Why do they do that?"

What's normal?

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Giraffe Portrait

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

Jester

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

'You have bullseye rash. take this medicine twice a day and stay away from dart games.'

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

What could have been quite possibly the most hilarious dog joke ever is interrupted by. . . 'So I said, that's no bone, that's my. . . squirrel!'

Party Party!

Clown in supermarket looking at a tin of Canned Laughter.

Another reason why a high school diploma is not enough.

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Crimy, Denis, it used to just be you. . . .

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."