Junior Officer Gifts

Sorrows of a Subaltern

Money Tight

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

Wedding disaster #27.

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

"Yes ... no!"

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

"I'm playing "Explorer" and looking for the Elephant Cemetery: there should be really big bones there!"

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

Man looking at company organisation chart, he's at the very bottom.

Verbal Orders

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

'...and do you take this pre-nup...?'

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

The Surly Yoof

Double Wedding

The Enemy

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

Child with a junior chemistry set in the complaints department.

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."