Junior Diplomat Gifts

"Billy, pulling my pigtail isn't what I consider 'networking.'"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"Keep up the good work and there'll probably be a nice promotion in it for me."

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

How's the boss today? Should I push his buttons or pull his chain?

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

Conflict Resolution Training - Cancelled Due To Disagreement Over Venue.

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"If you must know, like most cats I'm a registered Independent!"

'He pats my back, but I don't pat his.'

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

Avoiding bosses on stairs vs. elevator.