Little Diplomat Gifts

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

Landing That Tough Account

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."