Tiny Diplomat Gifts

'I've got to go, Mom - my playgroup called an emergency meeting,'

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Militant Pacifists

EU

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

Landing That Tough Account

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."