Tiny Diplomats Gifts

"I wonder if I should ask him to play."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

Landing That Tough Account

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Advantages of Growing Older

'I, for one, am sick of this 'King of the Apes' business! I demand a Republic!'

Bipartisan.

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'