Classroom Diplomat Gifts

I keep a cold pack in my desk drawer to help me cool my emotions before I apprach an argumentative student.

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Extortion...never. My associates and I prefer to think of these Christmas presents as an insurance policy...'

"Cruz, you can't use your phone in class."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

How's the boss today? Should I push his buttons or pull his chain?

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

Conflict Resolution Training - Cancelled Due To Disagreement Over Venue.

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'He pats my back, but I don't pat his.'

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

'Don't you hate undergoing peer review in these high school chemistry labs?'

Fenderson really knows how to pick his battles.

Two workers chatting by vending machine: 'Who are you working on at the moment?'

'While they always come back as unfounded, maybe you could prevent these allegations of sexual harassment by not telling people you like the cut of their jib.'

Avoiding bosses on stairs vs. elevator.