Junior Negotiator Gifts

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'He wants to close the deal with a handshake. What do you think about that?'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."