Teen Negotiator Gifts

'Tom, I warned you that the next fight you got into, I was going to apply economic sanctions on your allowance.'

'Hostile takeovers don't faze me. I have three teenage kids back home.'

Of course you could always pay me to be cooperative.

"I hate talking to my dad about getting a car."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"I don't just want you to give me a raise, I want you to WANT to give me a raise."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"Cupcakes for the judge? You're new here, aren't you?"

'Let's arbitrate.'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks-- When do I get paid'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Ok mummy, perhaps this isn't so crummy!"

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."