Youthful Negotiator Gifts

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

SALE

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"I don't just want you to give me a raise, I want you to WANT to give me a raise."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

'I'll do your taxes for you, daddy, if you'll color these silly homework pictures for me.'

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."