Junior Astronaut Gifts

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

Build a Raft

"Would you like some wings?"

'What goes up, must come down!' 'Not if you give it enough thrust, to send it flying forever across the face of the universe.'

October 11, 2009: History is made when 8-year-old Tommy Wurtner becomes the first child to enter space.

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

"Police? My son and his friends were playing, building a moon rocket. . . I believe that they actually blasted off!"

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

Field Trip!

"I'm playing "Explorer" and looking for the Elephant Cemetery: there should be really big bones there!"

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'Are we there yet?'

'We can probably make Mars in one day.'

"Hello job security."

China Launches Lunar Rover

Space rocket hits a star...

'We better call Mission Control to report that all our projects and experiments on this flight have succeeded beyond belief.'

A new study found that people with low expectations are more content.

"You get used to drinking recycled body fluids."

"I went to college knowing I wanted to be an astronaut. My parents had only a third-grade education. But they were good teachers. They taught me the importance of hard work...of perseverance...of not being afraid to dream."

Launch command. How long will the launch of the satellite be delayed? It should be up and around in no time!

Nursery Careers Service. Careers teacher tells toddler: 'Astronaut training would give you something to fall back on, if the jungle explorer job fell through.'

Chaironaut

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"Did you know that someday astronauts may put themselves into deep hibernation to artificially shorten the grueling journey to their ultimate destination? Wake me up on Christmas morning."

"Huston, we have a bad hairday problem!"

"NASA isn't going to be able to send people to Mars, after all."

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Hey, Jeffrey...why do you think the military wants to figure out how they can send people to another solar system?'

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

Astronaut

"Remember, there's an additional charge if you don't refill the tank before you return it."