Future Astronaut Gifts

Space shuttle Mission Accomplished

"Oh, is that today?"

'You are allergic to strawberries, caffeine and bad air. You must avoid these substances and find another planet to live on.'

Due to the space-age materials used in making this model, this one collects less dust than other exercise equipment.

'What goes up, must come down!' 'Not if you give it enough thrust, to send it flying forever across the face of the universe.'

"Did you know that someday astronauts may put themselves into deep hibernation to artificially shorten the grueling journey to their ultimate destination? Wake me up on Christmas morning."

NASA - We're going to MARS - and the moon is going to pay for it.

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"NASA isn't going to be able to send people to Mars, after all."

'Are we there yet?'

A small dog in a large space suit.

China Launches Lunar Rover

Space shuttle Mission Accomplished

'We can probably make Mars in one day.'

"I went to college knowing I wanted to be an astronaut. My parents had only a third-grade education. But they were good teachers. They taught me the importance of hard work...of perseverance...of not being afraid to dream."

NASA's budget cuts badly affected future space missions...

"Every new employee receives two fifteen minute breaks, a thirty minute launch break, and time and a half for orbit time."

"Police? My son and his friends were playing, building a moon rocket. . . I believe that they actually blasted off!"

Space rocket hits a star...

Astronaut

"You get used to drinking recycled body fluids."

"Hello job security."

CLIPPINGS - Space Race

"You can run away from home, but you can't join the Space Patrol - there's no such thing as Space Patrol."

Chaironaut

"Remember, there's an additional charge if you don't refill the tank before you return it."

Launch command. How long will the launch of the satellite be delayed? It should be up and around in no time!

Scientists find definitive proof there were oceans on Mars.

Driver Training Class. Student Driver. Okay, I've got it all aimed. Just show me which is the trigger and begin the countdown.

To get a college sports scholarship, Teddy's got to plan! Sports Camp. He should pick one sport, get a private coach and join a traveling team. Isn't that overkill? He's only in middle school. True. It might be too late. Teddy! We're switching to astrophysics camp!

"We told them it was space camp. They're Elon Musk's problem now!"

'We better call Mission Control to report that all our projects and experiments on this flight have succeeded beyond belief.'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Hey, Jeffrey...why do you think the military wants to figure out how they can send people to another solar system?'

Disable Astronaut.

Bear in a space suit meeting an alien.