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"You'll have to cut back that climber now that it's pulled down the TV aerial!"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

Open House of Horrors

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"Tarzan no want computer."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Rudyard Kipling

Leopards do change their spots

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Reality Bites

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

'Tarzan'

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'Will it thrive on light from a TV?'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Tarzan, the Heavy Sleeper.