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"You'll have to cut back that climber now that it's pulled down the TV aerial!"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

Open House of Horrors

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Leopards do change their spots

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

Rudyard Kipling

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

'Will it thrive on light from a TV?'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'Tarzan'