Jujitsu Gifts

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

Mr Lee's one man army style kung-fu school - "Mr Lee can't make it tonight, Apparently he's been mugged"

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Showbiz Awards

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Benedict Cumberbatch

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Director/Action Man toy.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

Overjumpers

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"