Judiciary System Gifts

'You're on trial for grand theft larceny -- you can't choose to remain anonymous!'

"When I heard you can't take it with you, I assumed they meant death, not leaving divorce court."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Truth

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'