Judicial Critique Gifts

I guess you think you're pretty special with that gavel, that thing that goes with the gavel, your name on a piece of wood and those dramatic exclamation points next to your head.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

Minority Report

Truth

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Disappearing Democracy

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"He's left out the staples"

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Can you hear me now?"

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

"You've gotta be for Trump. It's all about the judges."

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

Tilted painting

Clarence Thomas

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."