Joyful Gamer Gifts

BINGO HALL: 'Say, isn't that big Ed the trucker?!' 'I was off by one number! Sniff! By one lousy number' 'Now, now, dear! It can happen to the best of men! Have another tissue!'

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

Go Play Outside - it's so real, you kids will almost smell the virtual fresh air!

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy lost!"

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

'Why should I go outside...when I can build a animated snowman here.'

'I think you'll find this just as much fun as 'Grand Theft Auto IV''

"What would happen if you put down your weapon and tried to work things out peacefully?"

Arcade Game Baseball.

Silly sausages

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

'Mom! Tyler's playing video games on the smart thermostat again!'

"We didn't need virual reality when I was young, we had real reality!"

'This?! This is the legendary fountain of youth that men have sought for centuries.'

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

Tug the Toggle

United States Constitution.

Playing Footsies.

"I understand the graphics on your new video boxing game are very realistic."

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

Beginner Level Escalators

Vicar carrying a games console called a 'PrayStation 3'.

"I don't care if it is the most realistic World War II simulator game, I still refuse to salute you."

"We suck at this."

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

Why are you so hostile toward books? Um, where to start: The waste of paper, the lack of multimedia, the one-way nature of the medium. One-way? Authors stuff ideas down your throat. You can't interact with their ideas. You can't crowdsource the direction, or refine the plot or do anything active. You can't shoot anyone. Shoot? I might play a shooting app called Angry Books if the books you were destroying were cute.

'Me invent the wheel!'

"That's for anyone who can't stand the sight of blood."

'This is fun, Dad -- I'm in a flame war with Vladimir Putin!'

When Mr Cool also turns out to be Mr Right.

Computer Game Shop.

"You're just never gonna let me forget LEVEL 3, are you?"