Joy-challenged Partner Gifts

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Advanced footsie

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"I love the way these safari trips bring out the animal in you, darling."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

You are simply the Greatest

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

The air conditioning in here isn't working very well. Why don't we keep cool by undressing each other with our eyes? ?

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"You complete me."

"Wanna play?"

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

I love ewe.

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.