Jovial Tax Planner Gifts

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

Celebration in operating theatre.

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

While you were out we hit the lottery!

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

Man with Balloon

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

Technically Speaking

"I'm really glad that we're in this together."

"The government wats to know how we're going to achieve next zero."

Loophole Closed.

"If you're going to the bank, would you bring me something?"

Do you have anyone whose bark is worse than their bite?

'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'

'I can't explain it, but somehow, when I walk past here, I feel strangely insecure.'

'Your horse is sure to win now that he's got rid of that little man on his back.'

"How do you pay for all your carry-ons?"