Jovial Auditors Gifts

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

Celebration in operating theatre.

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

Off the wall legal advisor.

Mooning Moon

"So, you're claiming 32 million gifts as a legitimate business expense."

hoovering husband

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

You're awfully cheerful for someone who's about to lose a murder case. You must have me confused with my client.

"Doctor! This is not the time for the 'pull my finger' gag!"

'And this one's for humor in the line of duty.'

Technically Speaking

Do you have anyone whose bark is worse than their bite?

"If you're going to the bank, would you bring me something?"

"Oh, yeah! Well, your mother doesn't know a molecule from barnacle."

'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'

"How do you pay for all your carry-ons?"

'Now hook him in the lip and give it a yank'