Jovial Pet Parent Gifts

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Playing Fetch.

Polly txt speak

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Why do they do that?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Quick, start the car!"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Dog Walking Services

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"He was a very good boy."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

Raw food, after you leave for work.