Jovial Jukebox Pillows

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Growth Charts

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Complaints Desk

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Hot Cross Bun

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

"Hey! He must be watering down the beer.This is our fifth pint and we're still not talking rubbish."

'Forgettable' - The Hit Musical

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

Planting Bulbs.

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

Mrs. Claus's Annual Joke: 'Whoa...you're not going to work dressed like that, are you?'

"Is that permanent?"