Jovial Jabberers Gifts

"You draw clip-art? What a coincidence - I write Muzak!"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Growth Charts

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"The trees are laughing at us."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Clown Wedding with Rake

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Complaints Desk

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

Hot Cross Bun

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'