Jovial Drinkers Gifts

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"You draw clip-art? What a coincidence - I write Muzak!"

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.

'A table near the wine steward, please.'

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

"You know, honestly I see it as half full."

Do you know what girls want?

Cartoon showing a man swimming, when another swimmer has dived, bounced off his stomach and smashed through the ceiling.

"I was very good...delicious in fact."

Enthusiastic man

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"I'm really glad that we're in this together."

"Doctor! This is not the time for the 'pull my finger' gag!"

"Look Fred, are you going to play, or are you just going to clown around?"

Naysayers keep out.

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'