Jolly Pet Enthusiast Gifts

Santa Claus walks dogs

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'Super Dog'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

The Karate Kitten.

Pet Pony

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

K9 Literati.

'Click it or ticket.'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'Good book?'

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Dalmation with soccer ball: Soccer Hound.

A girl with a dog and balloons

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

'See what I mean, Doc?'

Balding dog

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."