Jokester With Tax Woes Gifts

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

Would you like a tissue - they're 24p plus VAT.

"On earth that is all ya know and all ye need know- except at tax time."

'The businessman's lunch is just like the regular lunch, sir, except that it's more heavily taxed.'

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'