Jokes Gifts

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The party, after you left

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"The judicial rulings are over here. That section is all lawyer jokes."

'Sorry, ma'am, we don't carry snow tires for that!'

After years of abuse, mittens exacts his revenge...

'Joking or non-joking?'

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

'Stop complaining that we never go anywhere. You knew I was the little piggy who stayed home when you married me.'

"I never know when you're kidding."

"Yep! Should have gone with plan 'B'!"

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Oh god, he's going for the jukebox!"

Caveman is unable to attract venture capital for his square wheel invention.

'Surgery went well, Mr. Moore. I had a lot of fun rebuilding your knee joint.'

Do you know what it means when all your financial statements are in red ink?' 'That it's time to change the printer cartridge?'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"Was that the sensitive spot you were telling me about?"

'Hip replacement? He was never hip to begin with.'

"I'm the podiatrist around here!"

Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

Why the chicken really crossed the road. . .

'We could both avoid this daily annoyance, sir, if you'd buy me an annuity!'

What does it cost to ask a question? What's your second question

Boo!

"I've fallen and I can't get up."

"I'm glad to hear you're finally fitting in." (Man has sign saying 'Kick me off the team' attached to his back).

'You have recessive jeans for plumbing.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'