Jokes And Humor Gifts

Holiday Gifts 2020

"If we can't wake Snow White, we should at least get her a CPAP machine."

Roger lands a recording contract after a ham sandwich gets stuck in his windpipe.

Rudolph Red Light District

"We need someone with experience operating a wrecking ball. Huffing and puffing and blowing buildings down is pretty much an outdated skill these days."

Dear Bertha - I'd write more often, but I always seem to be out of ink! Love, Oggy

Condom on snake rising out of a basket.

'He wouldn't need to walk for exercise, if he had a tail to wag.'

'Don't worry. I didn't charge you for the extra soda.'

'Slick in a bottle'

"Not too much off my back."

"Just because you're wearing glasses, doesn't stop me hitting you."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'