Jokers In Scrubs Gifts

'Let's be careful this morning, the patient's wife informed me that he broke a chain-letter recently.'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

'Who's ready for laughter-- the best medicine?!!!'

Celebration in operating theatre.

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'It's just a precaution, the anesthetist can't find his wedding ring.'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

"This cabernet sauvignon will have you feeling more like yourself in no time."

'Will you stop saying 'try not to get blood all over everything!'.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

'When the aliens abducted and probed me, they said I was fine. But I'd like a second opinion.'

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

'That would be way embarrassing.'

Barrister laughing at the judge's jokes

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

Surgery.

'I wanted a burial service, he wanted cremation, so I decided to compromise and have him clambaked.'

"I'm recommending a transplant. I'm transplanting you to another hospital."

Death Goes For A Jog