Joker's Retreat Gifts

When practical jokers pass away: 'Welcome...to hell!'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Scurile travels

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

"I'm going on a retreat."

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'I keep telling myself that this is better than a crowded beach in Spain...'

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Psychobabble.

Sweet Jailbreak

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Fishing for Supper

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Spring Training

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

"Hang on a second! This nutcase is allowed on the furniture, but I'm not?!"

'Backseat driver...'

No petting in the pool!

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

The bus home.

Go away

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

Ocean sounds $1.00

"This is NOT social distancing dude!"

'There goes 18 stone of muscle to fight a 2 lb trout to the death!'

'Relax, the game is over.'

'When they said, a vacation without frills, I didn't dream, this frilless!'

'This is my RB: Recreational Bomb.'

"That'll beat the hayfever but it may affect your all-over tan."

Man escaping prisoner via feng shui

Working from home...

"I think I've caught that cold that's going around."