Joker Apprentice Gifts

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"Hi-yah!"

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'She's still a novice yet.'

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

Long-legged clown...

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

Just a little heads up!

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

"Let's make it a few minutes longer and add more inside jokes."

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

'I haven't gotten to your story yet. I'm laughing at your resume.'

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'I'll be back Friday - don't try anything funny while I'm away.'

"I've taught him to do tricks, he wants you to pick a card."

"May I ask why you have 'inspired by true events' on the top of your resume?"

"I have to admit, I've never seen anyone list 'cleaning out my desk' as a job skill."

'How long have you been with us now, Jeffrey?'

"Great act - but let's see how he does on the written test."

"Do you really think this will work?"

"The kids of today catch on so quickly, Ted! Remember how long it took US to master the finer points of crony capitalism?"

Photocopying his ass was not as easy as he'd been led to believe.

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

"Any other strengths?"

'Regarding the job opening, we received your voice mail...and we don't care for your voice.'

Stand in the Q.

'I love being a rich executive so please don't let me get so bad that I won't be suspended with pay.'