Joke Technician Gifts

History's First Prop Gag

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

He likes to make work fun

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"This is Mr Johnson, the man who works under me."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'Assume the position, Caruthers. I'm going to frisk you for a good idea.'

"No, I said go knock yourself out."

Waste Management.

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

A fisherman reacts as he sees a drone flying over the lake with a fishing line into the water below.

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

'Because I'm the boss. That's why I'm so bossy.'

'I was told it required a log-in...'

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

"Shall we call it a day? Sure, boss, let's call it Friday!"

Your HR File: Warnings, Crazy Stunts, Psych Eval.

"Come on, dear...you can't blame everything on Russian hackers."

The Screeeen!

"I think he sometimes regrets hiring a former first grade teacher as his secretary."

'Mr. Fogarty believes that people work better under the constant threat of a noogie.'

'Hey Bob, this trampoline doesn't seem to work...'

Witch uses broom from broom share program.