Joke Killers Pillows

"But I don't know any Nickys! And I don't open the door for strangers."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Photobooth Photobomb

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'Tax man practical joker sticks sign on colleague's back which reads; Tax me.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"If this means we're married the future looks gnarly."

Albert Einstein Tells A Joke. . .

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.