Joke Destroyers Pillows

"But I don't know any Nickys! And I don't open the door for strangers."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Bed Spread"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Lesbians for Christ

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

How To Spot A Politician

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Thanks for the worm, but I almost got this stupid hook stuck in my mouth.'

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Robot porn.

Stuff Broken