Joke Fan Gifts

'There!...NOW do you believe the phone's engaged?!'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Shampoo.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

The Brothers Grime

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Eat me"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Amateurs."

Higher wisdom...

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

Beer Parasol.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"So, if the Pope is pious, what kind of pie is he... apple?"

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."