Corny Joke Fan Gifts

"The genetically modified corn wants us to knock it off with the crop circles."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Technically, it's a mammal."

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Fish finder."

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

The bird feeder.