Classic Joke Fan Gifts

A man stands over a dead chicken as it tried to cross the road - "Why?!"

Shampoo.

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"I cross the road to forget."

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Moon Line UP

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

"The genetically modified corn wants us to knock it off with the crop circles."

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

Tessa

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

Warning! This classic 70's comedy contains humour.

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."

'Over a hundred channels and nothing to watch!'

What salt shakers find amusing

'Not tonight, dear. I've got a headache.'

'I had a hole in my pocket, and I lost the tax surplus!'

'If anyone calls, I've gone to look for Wally.'

"Two out of three."

Hello, Mr Babcock, this is 1983 calling.

"I'm sure we've met before... don't tell me your name... don't tell me..."