Corny Comedy Fan Gifts

If you think Unicorns are lame, you should see a Unicorny.

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Giraffe Umbrella

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Bad fake tan day.

A Fairytale Update

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

Vlad the Impala

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Out damn Spot

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"That is an outrageous slur."