Joke Explorer Gifts

'Why do I always attract the mad cows?'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Useless add-ons.

Suffering from Cooties?

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

My daddy ate my homework

Psychiatrist - "Doctor, I keep imagining I'm being followed by an impersonator."

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Cheating Death.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Shark infested custard!

"Turn your head and cough."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

Beware of balloon dog.