Joke Explorer Pillows

'Why do I always attract the mad cows?'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Suffering from Cooties?

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Useless add-ons.

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Cheating Death.

Mexican Jumping Balls.

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

My daddy ate my homework

Shark infested custard!

"Turn your head and cough."

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'I was a taxi driver once but I resigned!' 'Why?' 'I hate people talking behind my back.'

Beware of balloon dog.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'