Joining Police Force Gifts

'Police School of Driving'

'PC Wilmot reporting for electoral fraud prevention duties, sir!'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

Scouts made this for me

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Boy scout replaces Atlas during Bob-a-Job Week.

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

Family traits.

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'...and this is the Mess.'

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Sorry, boss. . . Google also doesn't know where your missing person is. I have no idea where to look now. . ."

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

Come back in, no one will laugh at you.

Exposed and imprisoned.

Lenny the Cadaver dog had one heck of a story to tell the boys at the k-9 training...