Joiner Gifts

"However good father's 'beaver-o-matic' was..."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'Hello, can you check, I may have left my blow torch on.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Now we can receive e-mail!'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

"Welcome."

Ski kicker.

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

Harvey Smith.

Trade School. Going to trade school after our real estate business collapsed was a good idea! These days it's all about "vocation, vocation, vocation"!

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

'That's Kevin Hurley. He wants us to know he's an Eagle Scout.'

Old man learning to ice skate

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

'Be wormier!'

'Your glaucoma will never improve this way, Buzzy.'

'I'm stuck in this job!'

New Year's Resolution. . .

Rider Helping Horse Over the Jump

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

"Of course, after I became a PETA member I had to get rid of the heads."

Red Hat Society Members.

'I belong to so many book clubs I no longer have time to read!'

'Good luck with your new job...we all know how much you'll miss the old one.'

'Your heart's not really in this job, is it?'